Doug Binder. Creative Executive. Decent Human.
Objective:
I’m looking to use my depth of experience and breadth of skills to land a cush gig with much power and little responsibility, plus extra-competitive salary, frequent 5-star international travel (+1), generous pension, health plan that includes in-home surgical theater, and invitations to exciting parties with open bars, jumbo shrimp cocktails, lavish dinners and access to powerful people and B/C/D-list celebrities. Btw, I’m in for five years max.
Experience
Paperboy, The Washington Post, 1978-1980
Woke up gawd-awful early every day to deliver up to 125 papers on a bicycle. Sunday papers weighed 3-6 pounds each. Gained much experience working in the dark, rain and snow for no money. Spent weekends collecting payments and watching customers, all adults, hide inside to escape the $3.35 monthly fee, which I had to eat. Skills: getting stiffed and deterring bike-chasing dogs. Lessons: People are assholes.
Roth’s Tysons Corner 5 Theaters, Usher, Cashier and Concessionaire, 1983-1984
Ripped tickets, served concessions, picked up sticky garbage, all while becoming a PacMan ninja. Skills: mopping and sweeping, popping popcorn, clipping on bowtie, PacMan. Lessons: “Blazing Saddles” is the funniest thing ever.
Kings Dominion, Multiple Roles, Seasonal 1982-1984
Manually operated a roller coaster (at 17) that could have easily mangled riders and operators alike at any moment. Played the costumed role of the legendary superhero Captain Caveman, assaulting, molesting and rampaging through crowds, except on hot days when Cavey rested. Walked the beat as a security guard, trying hard to avoid crime and confrontation. Skills: acting, dancing and mime but only when completely anonymous. Lessons: The girlies dig a man in uniform.
Wolf Trap National Park for the Performing Arts, Driver, 1985
Ferried performers to/from airports, hotels and theater. Fulfilled performers’ riders by shopping for and stocking dressing rooms with contracted food, drink, candles, socks, whatever (IYKYK). Tended desk at stage door and watched shows from the wings. Lessons: it’s cool to be around famous people. Skills: acting unimpressed around famous people.
Education: James Madison University, 1983-1987
Made the most of the most tripindicular decade ever by wearing Vans, sporting a gelled mullet, being totally rad and rocking it to the max. Majored in English for “The Job of Tomorrow!” which is actually true since someone needs to explain what the hell is going on in this crazy world. Skills: self-sufficiency on Mom and Dad’s dime. Lessons: i before e except in months that end in y.
Walt Disney World, Multiple Roles, 1986-1988
Attended business classes as an intern while working on Main Street USA in guest relations, crowd control and driving vintage cars and buses to the Castle and back. Transitioned to public relations and the planning of major Disney events. Somewhere in there I interned at the General Motors attraction in Epcot, even though I knew nothing, absolutely nothing at all, about cars. Skills: operating a clutch. Lessons: aim high but be patient.
Universal Orlando, Publicity, Marketing and Production. 1989-1995
As company spokesperson during the pre-opening phase, I offered daily updates on the progress of construction which was a complete s**t show but no one told me. I really liked to be on TV and see my name in the papers so I didn’t ask questions. Lessons: you can totally believe something and still be lying. Skills: humility, eventually.
Binderama Creative, New York, Las Vegas, Santa Monica, Silicon Valley, 1994-2013
Contracted with many excellent production companies and clients, as well as a few unsavories, to create large-scale events around the world for corporations and C-suiters in high-tech, automotive, retail, finance, entertainment, hair and shoes. Yes, hair and shoes. Skills: speaking truth to power. Lessons: power doesn’t always want the truth.
InVision Communications, Walnut Creek CA, 2013-2025
Managed creative teams in the production of award-winning corporate events, programs and media, all while ensuring the Sauvignon Blanc was properly chilled. Lesson: be unstoppable, make it happen, reach higher, be fearless, go the distance. Skills: hyperbole.
Author, Gather, the Business of Coming Together, 2022
Amazon can’t keep this manifesto/how-to/memoir on the shelves for two reasons: they don’t have shelves and hardly anyone bought it. (Thanks to those who did!) Skills: self-publishing. Lessons: if you want to make a small fortune in the book world, start with a medium fortune and self-publish.
Open to Work, Just Not Yet
I’m taking a gap year, at least. But if you got something sexy, gimme a call, Cha Cha. (See Objective above.)
Binderama60for60 
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