Binderama60for60

I never got around to making you. I could have. I was healthy enough, fortunate enough to know viable partners and had the means to raise you. I just never made time. Truth is, I was too busy living my own life. And so, my name and bloodline end with this generation, my generation, me.

Here are a 10 thoughts and aspirations I would have shared with you, not in a tidy list but over a lifetime.

1. Be punctual. This is an easy one and the foundation for much more. It will give you structure for everything you do in a day, a week and a lifetime. Being on time will show that you have the base minimum of organizational skills and are considerate of others’ time; both are important.

2. Be loyal. Remember who your friends are and who has stuck with you, especially during tough times. Never walk away from them. Your Father learned this the hard way.

3. Be patient. In the short term, don’t let yourself get frustrated with petty matters. In the long term, give destiny a chance to play out; you cannot control time, speed it up or slow it down. At your age, you should just simply enjoy time as much as you can.

4. Be kind. There are few instances in life when choosing kindness isn’t the best option. Kindness opens doors, opens hearts and minds, and can be one of the most disarming skills you can wield to your advantage. And it’s easy. This is a lesson I’m still learning.

5. Be cool. The world doesn’t need more hot heads. Yep, I am still trying to master this.

6. Be grateful. Appreciate every moment, not just the positive ones. Even in strife and despair, understand that life is challenging you, to make you feel more alive, aware and present. For that you should be thankful. In fact, say it out loud every day.

7. Buy the tickets. Life is short; treat yourself to experiences that matter and bring joy. Rarely have I looked back on an investment in travel or theater or adventure with buyer’s remorse. Buy the tickets and enjoy the moment.

8. Be interesting. Cultivate and master unique talents that you enjoy: play a musical instrument, perfect the art of bread making or dog whispering, do magic tricks, get a black belt, go all-in on skydiving, learn to speak Klingon, dance hip hop or make a TikTok.

9. Be brave. Be willing to make mistakes, to fail. Sometimes mistakes can take you in directions you never imagined. But honestly, sometimes they can derail you for years. No matter, failure will teach you resilience and can reveal strengths you never knew you had. You have one lifetime: dare to live.

10. Don’t always follow the rules, especially ones you set for yourself. I said at the top I’d offer up 10 items for this list, but I feel like adding some more. Lagniappe: deliver more than expected.

11. Be curious. Learn, ask, seek, wander, explore. It’s a big world out there and what you will gain in its discovery will change you for the better. Inspire others to do the same, to solve problems, make beautiful things, express yourself, bring joy. Every day and never stop.

12. Use your body. There are things called goosebumps. Get them. Run, romp, jump, dance, climb, fall, mingle, hug, kiss, sip, taste, lick, savor, slurp, chug, gorge, scream, laugh, touch, feel, slake, puke, sprain, ache, break, bleed, shiver, quiver. Besides what it does for your body, it’s a gift for your head, a gift for your heart and a gift for your soul. And some good stories too.

13. Be good to your mother. She knows you better and loves you more than anyone or anything else on Earth. She is not perfect; you can disagree, but she is never wrong, and she’s the closest thing to perfection you will find in your life.

14. Lastly, tell them now. Let the people close to you know how you feel about them, what they’ve contributed to your life, or simply, I love you. Don’t wait.

I respect that you wouldn’t have followed all of this advice. I’m certain that the choices you would have made in life would have made you a wonderful human who makes the world a better place and gives your and my life more purpose and resonance. I think I would have been a good father to you. Shoulda Coulda Woulda. Sorry we never got to meet.